Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Honestly Haniza, why are you letting him affect your fucking life. I mean, it's your life after all. If I want to become a sweeper tomorrow, it's still my life.
Why are you letting his words get in your way.
Why are you letting what your friends say affect you. Which you have done very well to block their words out.
I've mention this before and I won't hesitate to say this again. It's the matter of choices in life. It's my life, if I want to throw it away, I can do it. Why? Because it's choices.
People go to school because their parents want them to. Or, they want to pass o levels. But, I'm sure a handful of them had already taught about what they're going to do in the future.
I havent. I'm too preoccupied pleasing my parents. I wanted to be so many things. But, every single time I wanted to do it, he holds me back. So, thats why I said something inside me grew smaller..
I was scared to do so many things due to the limitations. I'm not allowed to go to poly. Surprise? Yar, maybe I should just go to ite. People don't tell me to think positive. I hate it when someone tells me that.
I want to think positive but I've been trying so hard that I'm lost in my own loops of strings I created around my feet.
I always trust my sister. Never fail. But, she seems to be in a habit of hmmm, how do I say this? Getting me into trouble or emotionally affected. But, every time, I choose to trust her. Why? Because she's family.
People might say I'm throwing my life away or slacking. Hahas.. Funny. Because I am. See how negative I've become? A big turn around.. I shall wait for my MT results to kick me back into the other side.
Anyway, I always see the board every day.. People get stress about it. Well, I tell myself, once you hit the 60 mark, then, you study haniza..
Hahas.. Ironic.. I wonder if I'll do it..
He said that he's pressurizing me because in school they might be motivating me. HE thinks that I get around with reverse psychology. Ya right.. You're driving me down the drain every time.
No amount of scolding can help me now. I just need a reality check. In which I already know of. I feel the urgency but never the motivation to do it.
I can't be bothered with life. You ask me why I never come to school? I say it's choices but it's so much more..
Why are you letting his words get in your way.
Why are you letting what your friends say affect you. Which you have done very well to block their words out.
I've mention this before and I won't hesitate to say this again. It's the matter of choices in life. It's my life, if I want to throw it away, I can do it. Why? Because it's choices.
People go to school because their parents want them to. Or, they want to pass o levels. But, I'm sure a handful of them had already taught about what they're going to do in the future.
I havent. I'm too preoccupied pleasing my parents. I wanted to be so many things. But, every single time I wanted to do it, he holds me back. So, thats why I said something inside me grew smaller..
I was scared to do so many things due to the limitations. I'm not allowed to go to poly. Surprise? Yar, maybe I should just go to ite. People don't tell me to think positive. I hate it when someone tells me that.
I want to think positive but I've been trying so hard that I'm lost in my own loops of strings I created around my feet.
I always trust my sister. Never fail. But, she seems to be in a habit of hmmm, how do I say this? Getting me into trouble or emotionally affected. But, every time, I choose to trust her. Why? Because she's family.
People might say I'm throwing my life away or slacking. Hahas.. Funny. Because I am. See how negative I've become? A big turn around.. I shall wait for my MT results to kick me back into the other side.
Anyway, I always see the board every day.. People get stress about it. Well, I tell myself, once you hit the 60 mark, then, you study haniza..
Hahas.. Ironic.. I wonder if I'll do it..
He said that he's pressurizing me because in school they might be motivating me. HE thinks that I get around with reverse psychology. Ya right.. You're driving me down the drain every time.
No amount of scolding can help me now. I just need a reality check. In which I already know of. I feel the urgency but never the motivation to do it.
I can't be bothered with life. You ask me why I never come to school? I say it's choices but it's so much more..
alice_jjar at 4:20 AM
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