I'm sick and tired of everything..
i really dun noe wad to do..
i want to be a robot with no feelings..
i wanna be like wr. she's so pro..
immune to almost anything..
and she can juggle a lot of things..
I hate my life..
I'm so busy with bad time table..
im crying again.. why do i have to be so weak?
I put up an up front with my parents..
not wanting to hear them nag..
Not wanting to hurt their feelings..
Tml is the day where we need to hand in our walkaton card..
Ms queck will nag if we don't have enough money..
Even if you talk to her, it seems as though she's nagging..
She's always like that..
But, when one of the guides only got 2 bucks, she nag saying that it wasn't enough..
I Wanted to borrow money from my mother to pay for the walkaton card..
She took the card from me and discuss with my father..
Well, at least i didn't steal the money away from them!
Then, my mom didn't want me to use my own money to pay.. gila..
it's also my money.. not yours.. gila.
then, both my parents paid money so, i got 8 bucks in total..
i also dun noe where i put hidayah and merilyn's money.. i still need to pay money.. wads the diff..
Then, my dad say that if my teacher nag at me tml, I must tell them..
my mother even wanted to call the principle.. crap.. gila..
don't make life hard for me.. don't tarnish my reputation like u did for my sis..
that life is not for me.. i dun want to end up like her..

I'll tell you what happen during the Syf band central judging..
well, bowen won gold with honour... that's great.. I noe..
but, certain things happen..
I was so dead tired yesterday that i broke down yesterday..
I don't noe wad got into me..
the thought that i have to go to school the next day just taunted me..
I had to memorise something that was my oral..
and it's tiring having to live my life this way..
I mean, everyone can rest the next day longer than me.. but, how about me?
I have to study after a day full of activities..
but, nonetheless, I refuse to wake up and go to religious class..
I'm going to get it from my parents when they come home later..
hais.. i had to teach the school how say a few of the songs...
Mrs kumar kept changing wad she wanted...
dots..
and man, the school, erms, wads wrong with them???
I mean, they should cheer man..
hais.. so hard to get them to cooperate... stupid sec 3...
And my class, dun mention it, all of them are no where to be found..
all of them went to different classes..
god, since you like that class so much, why don't you just opt in the first place.. stupid idiots..
why did u even come to my class?
although we won the champion class for cross country..
although i was there cheering you guys on..
but, do u ever know wad happen to the rest???
u dun know right?
i tell you... some of them went off with ppl from other class n sing when they were walking..
I just don't tink you guys should be doing this when certain ppl in our class are trying our best to bond the class together...
haiz.. and im even more disappointed in one person in the cross country..
Gosh, how could you follow them when you could actually get the top 50..
I wanted to see you.. but i only saw a few from our class.. I expected to see you..
but, I saw you with a bunch of other people..
hais..
but, as a coucillor, we never fail to get scolding from teachers.. right?
never fail.. let me emphasize on that !!
at first was the lion.. i made an announcement.. cause 'bunga' told me to..
then, got scolded.. lion said dun make any announments before informing her..
hais.. nvm.. all bunga fault.. but, nvm..
then, kumar scolded elle and they all.. she said that they were not screaming... shouting
ah.. crap..
then, after that, miss james scolded me.. cause i move when the class wasn't behind me.. hais..
stupid.. i was suppose to bring them to the other side.. then, i moved up.. tinking they followed me.. then, they went another way.. outside the gate, miss james scolded me..
then, mr leow asked me to move up a little bit cause there was no space for ppl to move behind.. and miss james was counting the number of ppl.. then, she scolded me again..
hais.. i don't know why i manage to maintain such cool after what happen so much.. i couldn't feel the hurt at all.. i couldn't i was so immune to it... then, when i got home, i broke down..i dun noe why..
sad life.. then, now, im actually studying for chem.. asked mr derek a few questions.. hais.. nonetheless, i having eat lunch nor breakfast..
so tired..

I don't know her anymore..
She's not that one i knew..
The one that i knew was always cheerful and considerate of others..
the one i knew didn't show attitude..
I one i knew knew how to handle stress without leting it affect her normal daily life.
At least that was what she portrayed to the people around her, even me..
But, what happen? What change?
I Don't know..
I seriously don't know..
I lost a friend in her..
I could no longer stand her..
I can no longer take her..
Why;? Is it me?
But, i seriously hope she will go back to her happy go lucky ways..
But, i've waited pretty long already..
but, things just seem to have gotten worse..
Then, suddenly, everyone's bubble's seem to have burst..
Even I don't understand why..
I am still that person..
Just that i've slack too much.. that's the only difference..
To me, that is..
Now, I've got one person to always be behind me...
Is this the kind of atmosphere i'm going to spend my birthday in?
When two of my best friends are at odds at each other..
I wish they will sort it out.. but, what will happen if they do????
I don't noe..
I cant tell the future..
Now, I can't be bothered to tell people about my birthday..
I remembered one or 2 months before, i've been writting in people's organizer..
now, i cant be bothered..
I don't even countdown..
I have a sad life..
I'm trying not to push myself to the limit..
But, guides is taking my time..
I have to really plead eugenia whether we can come back for guides only once a week..
if not, I tink i'll die.. cause i don't have the time for my mid-year..
besides, I'm worried for her.. she's having the o's.. so, i hope she'll start concentrating already..
if we want to stay back, let it be for studies.. not anything else..
cause we need to start studying..
my results will drop tremendously..
for my A maths, i don't even know wad i'm doing.. haiz..
Now, i've only got to buck up and organize my time..
I need to work harder!!!!!!
hais..
Nvm, i've got to go and study already... laters... do organization first..