the walls that i've build has come crumbling down. I'm no longer the strong girl I know.
Setiap masa aku mangingati paristiwa itu, satu perasaan kesedihan akan timbul di hatiku. aku rasa Sungguh menyesal apabila aku melihat keputusan peperiksaanku.
Ini bukan soal maruah tetapi soal kedudukanku di dalam keluarga ini. Satu kali lagi, aku berada di kedudukan yang rendah dibandikan dengan kakakku. Dua puluh minit aku menangis di dalam bilik air. Dan selama dua puluh minit aku berfikir.
Banyak soalan bodoh yang dimainkan di dalam otakku. Aku tidak pernah berniat untuk mengakhirkan hidupku. Tetapi, orang selalu bercakap bahawa fikiran kami akan berkeliaran apabila kami sedang manangis menghidu-hidu.
Tetapi, apa yang harus kami buat? Aku berasa sungguh bodoh. Bodoh. bodoh. bodoh.

Harlow.. today was pretty interesting.. hahas.. At least no E maths. I think it's my hatest subject now. I don't really like her now. Although I know that she might just be showing concern to all of us, but I'm just now ready to embrace it.

Tomorrow will be another day of stupid maths. I hate the subject a lot. Ok, since when am I in love with maths? like 6 years ago.. yar.. oh Well, there's singing competition coming up. It's a Chinese singing competition. =) I'm not joinning of course but I feel like considering it. HAhas. You know just for fun joy and laughter. Just for the experience. But, still deciding. Even if I join, my parents will not know of it though. It's not something they might tell me off about. I just don't think it's appropriate to do so..

Hmmm, what else.. Oh yar, I got back my GEo test. You know what, I think I'm going to do pretty well for my humans. Cause I have projects to pull me up. There's one subject that will be pulling me down as usual and that is E maths.. I don't think i'll pass my A maths this time as well. Oh well, can't be bothered.. I think I'm giving up a lot on studies. I'm not entirely washing my hands off. But, just not as motivated anymore.. For chemistry, there might be hope.. Cause of my project. Physics.. Maybe also got hope.. Bio, gosh, I don't think so. Sad life. Cause I wasn't too free to study for it all the time. =( Eng, well, I'm getting it tomorrow. It's pretty nerve wrecking. I don't think i'll do that well. Cause I didn't touch much on the topic itself but instead going about the processes and details. =( If I don't do well, I know where I had gone wrong or something. that's all right.. oh yar! Malay, maybe will pass.. hahas.. Maybe not too..

Today was a very exciting day. Laugh my head off most of the time. The only time that I didn't agree with is A maths.. And that's the only one. During MT, my teacher made a few hilarious remarks and it perk me up especially when I might just put off at that time. As I was having my menstrual cramps early in the morning. =( I don't usually have them but I think it's because of too much standing. =( Haiz..

Next up was recess, ate slowly today.. Had to save money... So, bought something pretty small amount.

Then, went to GEO class. As usual, Miss suan rawks! She is so fun.. hahas. I'm glad that most of the people in my class are going for the trip. Then, got back our test paper. Did quite well. Satisfactory.. Then, the class was exceptionally noisy at miss suan's class today..

Then, went to Chem class.. =) Had presentation and wasted first period finding a classroom becase the labs cant be used. There was practical exam and I think they do not want any disturbance... Anyways, the presentation was ok.. But the quiz was exciting cause their prize was very tempting.. hahas..

Then, to A maths class. We thought she won't come because there was a relief teacher.. But, there she was and coming in our class... Lols.. Yen ling at some point imitated the way she say certain stuff.. Lols.. Then, she was sooo unreasonable.. Asked Paul to stand just because he didn't get to his seat quick enough. and started throwing bullshit.. she said Paul was the most naughtiest boy that she ever met in Express.. wow, that was must the rest be... Goodness.. The must be that nicest angels in the world..

Then, break/lunch. Had a few things.. But, still wanted to chew something, me and Merilyn bought something else to share..

Then, We had bio.. it was a very interesting lesson.. Hahas.. teach asked paul how his heartbeat sounds like: tatatata.. well, of course not like that. He started to say something else.. That was immitating some sounds.. Lols.. Then, teach said your heart does not sound like that.. Then, as per normal the heartbeat sounds like: da-dum da-dum. Paul:can you not be so monotonous.? Teach:cannot be help, your heart sounds like that. ... Lols, then, paul started to : heir heir heirheir heir.. IT's like a lamp kinds sound. .hahas.. Then, teach: thats like asthma.. Well, you might think it's not funny, but, it was if you were in my class...

Then, yen ling told all of us that when my teach say about the having to read your pulse at your wrist as well, stanley place his two finger on his wrist and put it to his ear. HAHAHAHAS.. i mean, how can you hear it??? Lols, it's to feel it.. hahas!!! He did a charade before and his 'call' word.. Then, it's expected that you'll do the sign of calling some one.. he did it upside down!!! Lols.. I'm so mean..

Ok, then, we watch some video for our bio break. The man was talking and suddenly, his teeth dropped off. He was actually wearing a fake one.. lols!!! oh well, i'm done!!! I stayed bacck a while though.. Some of us didn't hand in WS>. and She scolded us.. =( But, the day was fulfilling enough to cover my wounds. hee hee hee.. hahas. 3e2 rawks!

Woots.. Hi hi.. There are so much things that I want to blog about today... I'll tell you my typical day.. muahahas.. first was the damn morning duty.. Lols.. Wei jie come back already from OBS.. Hmmm, told us about the OBS thingin'.. Kinda irritating to hear about it everyday like that.. But it's good to hear that they had fun.. But, I want to hear more of their adventure there.. Then, went off to the foyer.. Did my daily work.. Done. I went to read the newspapers.. Got jay!!! Hahas. they said something about his new song wih Fei Yu.. in his new album.. Bla bla bla.. Then, Mrs Danapal and Mr Farid asked me to call Mrs. Choi. At first I didn't know who's that... muahahas.. Then, walking to the parade square.. Ask Mr. Michael who it was and he pointed to me.. hahas.

After that, went back to the foyer.. first subject!!! SS.. hahas. Mrs. Hee wasn't taht happy but then, we started with our lesson.. She used all of the periods inclusive of our CME which was after her lessons.. hahas.. It's ok.. I mean, better than learnin about some values thingin'. But it was kinda tiring to have it all at one go..

Recess I ate my normal portion. Hmmm, nothing much..

Then, Physics.. We went to the Lab.. Then, Mr Tan came.. But we are not able to use the lab due to the o levels practical comign up if i'm not wrong.. That's why.. Then, We went to Miss Chua's Homeroom.. hahas.. walk there and I think we wastedlike 15 to 20 minutes like that... boo hoo!!! Man, this must be the first time that i'm ever sad cause I miss lessons.. hahas. Then, we had lessons.. Then, he asked me question about random and continuous.. I thought it was random.. I mean, it's explainning about the motion of the air molecules.. Then, bi xuan also say like that.. Then, he asked me why.. Then, I don't know how to explain to him... Hahas.. Then, he was saying it's correct.. Hahas.. Then, before that he asked me GG cannot lie right.. some oath you all have.. Then, I said ya lar.. hjmmm, 'My honour means I can be trusted, to be truthful and honest' hee hee.. Of course I didn't say that lar.. Then, proceed on...

Mother tongue.. hahas. Hmmm, we handed in our work. COmprehension.. Then, We had to do this paper. Do and do lor.. She was also scolding this guy outside class.. Then, she had to bring the guy down.. Then, my classmates was like hurray.. hahas. then, she walked back saying: don't make any havoc arhs.. While laughing,, hahass.. Then, when she came back, we went through the paper... =) When we came under peribahasa I think.. it's like Idioms.. Then, we were saying that Birds cannot fly when it rains.. I mean, they don't fly when it rains.. Then, some people tried to be funny and said birds can fly.. But, of course they knew they couldn't.. Of course, my teacher asked Suhaimi for his agreement.. .He then, said, "WHo say I say birds cannot fly.. Birds can fly...' Then, everyone laugh.. hahas.. Then, my teacher ask them to find any sources that birds can fly when it's rainning.. lolr..

Break... Then, English.. As usual, waited outside the class. for him to come.. Hmm, today we did compre again!!!!!!!! I know we're very weak.. but, for the love of god.. I think i'll die.. lols.. Then, we got to go home early!!! so nice.. first tiem sia.. then, everyone super shock.. hahas. then, headed off to the canteen to find they all... Then, we ate.. They did, i didn't... Then, went to Ms loh's class. Lesson all e way until 6.50 like that..

Went to the bubble tea shop.. Then, i order, get the drinks.. then, i walked off without paying!!!!!! Then, the auntie said ' girl arh, you havent pay me money!!!' Wah, more like shout rather than say.. Gosh, I was sooo embarrassed lar!!! then, went off,.. drink drink drink... Then, went to the bus stop.. One 147 passed elle didn't take.. cause she still drinking water.. then, think think think, went to kovan to shop for pei yi's present.. hahas. so nice lar!!!!!!! muahahhas.. then, went home around 7 plus 8. The, i reach at around 8/ 20.. Hmmm, it was ok.. then, i wrapped e prezzie lioas.. trust, it does not look like a mummy wrapping.. hahas.. totally professional.. =) muahahs.. nites!! mi need to bath..

Hey! I just woke up.. and here I am blogging. hahas. My results were terrible.. =( Still awaiting 2 more papers.. Geo and Eng.. I seriously Hope my ENG will pass. It's not that easy anymore. And to SOME of my juniors.. hahas.. If you all happen to read my blog, please do not approah me about it k? Cause it's personal kind of thing. And there is a limit to everything.. =)

hmmmm, good news, Jay's 7th album is coming out soon. I;m waiting for the per-order to come up. Hmmm, then, i'm going to order it.. =) hahas.. One more good news is that I did not exceed my monthly bill. But I only got it for 1/2 a month.. and I didn't even finish half of the sms. SO, must see the next bill instead.. and I realise I call a lot.. hahas.. but not incoming but outgoing.. lols.. Another good news is that I love physics more and more!!! hahas. I passed!!!!!!!!!!!! woots!!!!!! so exciting.. Thanks to Mr. Tan who have been our lovely teacher.. 3e1: 10 fail. 3e2: 4 fail. 3e3: 4 pass. Hmmm, read that again?

hahas.. shocking huh... I think so too.. hahas.. Oh well, that was the only thing that I was proud of.. hahas. =) other than that.. not really lar arhs.. ONe more thing.. Got the highest for SS project in the class.. Hope it will pull up the CA marks.. And my Geo project looks pretty nice.. hahas.. =) Ok, I'm done.. I want to play badminton will Ellis they all today.. but, ELle havent reply me... =( Oh well, i tink i'm goign to call her soon see how lor.. maybe she wants to catch up on her work or something.. Since they came back from OBS already.. Missed them sooo much!!! HAhas...bb'

Hahas... muahahhas.. Yes, Wan Xuan.. haha.s.
Today in Physics class: we all were listenning to Mr. Tan. Well, I was curious about something. It had somehing to do with the kinetic theory of matter..

Then, I asked a question. Then, Mr tan said, "Wah. First time Haniza asked question." Then, everyone laughed. Then, he checked his watch. "11. 25, 14 august" hahas.. i still remember.. muahahs.. and wan xuan as well.. hahas. Mr Tan is sooo nice.. hahas. Oh well, may not a be a big deal for you but i dun often asked questions. It was a big deal for me... =)

hee hee. today is the first day they all went to OBS. I hope they would have fun. =) I really wanted to go but I can't. I can't afford to do so. Lols.. So, I didn't go and here I am missing them already!!!!!!! Lols.. i hugged them in the morning.. I think they're coming back on Friday!!!!! Woots!!!! i'll look for them and be the first one to greet their black black faces.. hahas. Sure sun Tan until like shit.. hahas..

Hmmms, done doing agenda already.. Seeing Miss chua tml. Then, Today also my Social Studies presentation.. mini one.. lols.. most of the things is me and wan xuan do one.. but, oliver did the design, leslie and krit did their own reflection. we lied a little bit.. but, won't die.. hahas. Hmmm, they say we so far got the highest mark.. =) so fun.. hahas. i must say the project was successful and worth my lack of sleep.. hahas.. one down 2 more to go,, I tink we're having chem pro on Wednesday.. =) Then, another one down.. Left Geo. but, no presentation done i tink..

Geo was a vey very fun project if you make it a fun one.. Definitely. The only one who did the project was me and Celest. Merilyn was not able to attend both meetings cause of Church. Celest Manage to sacrifice her time. Why cant she do the same? Oh well. Then, we just went ahead with the project without her and hand it up on friday. We did a lot of work.. IT was quite well done i must say...

We actually went to NTUC to take pictures here and there. so fun, although we look like some aunties.. hahas. Then, the next day we met at 3. cause i had to delay due to SS project that time. Then, we did all the way until 10.. lols! But, it was nicely done.. =) I don't know whether we'll do well but i hope we do.. we got 2 points bonus cause pass up fast.. =) some havent even start arhs.. so far i only heard my group and Yen ling.. i don't know who else handed it up already.. wish them all the best..

Then, tml i think i got no afternoon lessons.. what am I going to do? lols..!!! I don't feel like going home to sleep.. well, we'll see how tml.. Hmmm, what else? Mi feel like sleeping now.. But cannot.. very very very bad timing.. Then, today everyone is super sleepy lar.. every single class also felt like sleeping... But, i tried tp wake up lor.. lols.. Then, in eng class alex slept then, he had to stand on the table. =( i understand how tired he must have felt. Well, yen ling also slept.. but, i think mr. micheal didn't see. Oh well, gd for her.. She's having a sore throat.. i tink everyone is getting sick these days.. Poor thing.. Even cai xin didn't come to sch and OBS. =( such an opportunity wasted.

Then, during SS lessons, oliver is such a pain in the ass. Cant stand him sometimes. Stupid.. walk walk around the class like it's his.. lols.. then, only went in front to pay attention when it was paul's turn to present.. bias!!! lols.. up to him lar..

And 'Paul is a rose' Haha.. thats a metaphor.. i keep saying it in malay which is metaphora. is that how you spell it? oh well. then, 'Paul is as beautiful as a rose' thats a similie. hahas..now now now, u don't want me to go in details which one shows wad.. lols.. goign off now.. =) Have to watch my grey's anatomy tonight.. and hmmm, i dun tink desperate housewives is playing anymore.. lols.. but it seems hanging.. hais.. also like that.. =)

Oh ya, lake house is cool.. but i tink the story was very interesting... should go and watch.. well, its been such a long time since i watched a movie. i paid 9. 50.. ex!!!!!!! lols.. but, they were saying it was once in a while.. so, fine.. lols.. gtg.. buais..

I don't want to do this anymore... hahas.. jkjk. Listenning to Rihanna's Unfaithful. The song is quite nice.. hahas. just came back from Esplanade. I went and see the Fireworks.. So nice.. hahas. =)

Erms, today was a pretty long day.. got out of the house at 10 45. Went and meet Ellis to 'give' her the key to guides dent. But only to find that she has it also.. but nonetheless, i waited for her since until 4 147 bus drove pass. oh well.. then, we went back to my house.. She played my com.. then, we went off to her house... she took quite long to change.. then, we went off to the MRT station with Eugenia tan, shu xian and wan ru there waiting for us.. lols. then, went off to PS.. talk cock sing song play mahjong.. then, went to watch Lake house.. waited for Eugenia lau to come.. then, went off into the movie theatre. the story was quite nice.. hahas.. so cool lar.. oh well. then, we went and meet valerie.. went to marina parade.. bought 'dinner' at KFC.. super crowded! Then, went home fix to try to get the twine.. but cannot find.. the person was saying ' we only got polyester rope' i was like: ok.. then, eugenia ask: it's a kind of cottonish rope. then, she said, 'we only got polyester rope' and she give us that bu suang look and face.. very qian da!

went off to the esplanade bay.. sat there eating and chatting.. it was only 5 plus.. but, it was pretty crowded.. then. around 6 plus, ppl started started to stand already.. so fast.. then, we were like thank god, we came early.. lols.. then, we waiting quite long.. me and valerie wanted to go to the ladies.. so, we went around 7 plus.. waited for the rest to come back.. then, we went off to oriental hotel.. hahas! so grand.. hahas.. should have brought my camera. Valerie regretted not bringing hers. Oh well. then, we went to the toilet.. and went back. very very veyr squeezy.. then, we sat down back and Han Xiang and Eugene was sitting with us.. lols.. Then, they did their stuff and we talked somemore.. then, valerie went off with her fwens.. talk talk talk until the fireworks started lor.. tok photo.. video.. then, some part of the fireworks i missed cause my eyes caught something.. lols.. cause the 'ashes' it seems to be.. fell on us.. and one of the, just had to go in to my eyes.. my tears fell lar.. ka na sai.. tried to relief it.. but it took a while.. no one paid me much attention.. cause the firework was at it's climax.. =( but, nontheless, we got a very very good view.. but, i tink i'll manage.. lols.. then, eugenia drove us home.. she stop me at hougang point that side.. it's ok lar.. not that far.. but, still need to walk.. but it's not as ulu as bowen that side.. oh well.. mi need to bath,, =)