Suffocating slightly...

It's not easy to be me..
Wish that I could fly..
But I fall upon my knees..

I'm finally suffocating.
I wasn't for the past few days.
But I finally am.
The feelings not so great.

I don't feel like waking up tomorrow.
It dreads to wake up from my bed.
It would mean doom.

Now, I really ask. Are we really going to remain the famous 5?
Are we?
It would be pretty contradicting if someone were to say yes.

Its a depressing thought I suppose.
I finally feel tired.
Am I going to lead my life like this?
is this going to continue?

People say I must be strong.
However, am I strong enough to face the ordeals the next day.
Am I going to dread my job every single day.
With the mindset of not letting anyone know what I'm doing at hm.
Which is a secrete thing to do.

I wonder how I even went through things last time.
Now, my senior is not happy with things.
HEY, let me tell you something.
Try doing all the planning we're doing right now.
See whether you're VERY FREE OR SOMETHING>

and what am i BUSY WITH?
LET ME TELL U. IM BUSY WITH MY BUSY LIFE.
GOT IT? SO DONT ASK US TO DO SOMETHING THAT MIGHT NOT BE POSSIBLE>
BE GRATEFUL AND DUN ASK FOR MORE>
LETS SEE HOW MY BATCH FAREWELL IS GOING TO BE HUH

More stupid problems..

I'm not very free but I would like to blog something up.
Hahas. I guess I'm in an ok mood. So far, didn't fa pi qi the entire day..
However, I think I will tomorrow.
I've just send 4 emails to Mrs. Wee just now.
For stuff.. LOLs.

Then, there's nothing more..
My mom nag at me about Guides involvement.
At the rate she's going, I'm not going to tell her.
However, my sister is still thinking about it.
If my mom happens to find out, it will be worse.
Oh well, lets just see..

Then, the juniors are so troublesome..
There problems, here problems.
So ma fan. Not only that, they are so rude..
air hole.

Oh well, I'm having a headache right now..
Can't find something.. I'm so dead.......
Hais..

Count ur Blessings.

I just finished cooking rice just now..
It's for dinner.. We're eating lauk lemak with ayam goreng and ulam..(Kacang botol)..
Hmmm, now my sis is frying the chicken..

Something or rather, someone made my day.. hahas..
I was actually just joking.. I didn't expect you to take me seriously.. Lols..
Nonetheless, Thank you!! Hahas..
That's my third thanks today already.. Lols..

Ok, let's count our blessings people..
This is the day when you count your blessings..

"Waitin' at a stop light yesterday
As a funeral procession made its way,
Through the gates.
I watched it roll up a winding road,
Through a field of green with white headstones,
All in a row.
And it made me think about where I'm at,
On my not so straight and narrow path...
All the generous and mostly undeserved,
Blessings that I've had.

I had an all-American Mom and Dad,
Some of the coolest friends you could ever have.
Found love I thought I'd never find...
Sometimes I can't believe this life is mine.
And I'm not plannin' on leavin' yet,
But the truth is, you just never know,
An' if this is as good as it gets,
Man, I think I'm good to go,
I'm good to go."

This song was introduced to me by Wan ru and eugenia lau..
You should count the number of blessing we have..
And start realising that we are very fortunate..
therefore, fulfill your responsibilities right now..
It may be hard.. But, Take a step at a time..
At some point of time,
You'll reach the targetted spot..

"I've hit the mark and missed by miles."
- Jason Aldean, Good to go..

Hahas.. I think thats cool.. Well, I'll be like, at least I've tried my best..
I got 2 christmas cards. Receiving 2 more tml.. hahas.. Man, I'm feeling super guilty..
I'm not doing anything for these people..
Oh well, then, I'm not the sort as well.. Letters, yes.. But, not cards..
Never bother to afford one..
Can never draw nicely.. Lols..
So how?
Let's just see then..

Tomorrow, there's meeting for the farewell..
SIAN.. But, nvm.. It's due to the seniors who have done a job for a while..
Ok, that sounds pretty blunt.. But, hey, there was only a few who did their job truthfully..
It's a fact, and wouldn't deny it..

Ok, I'm going off already.. =)
MERRY CHRISTMAS>>

7th Heaven, Jas visit and Da Chang Jin.

Yupps. Nice? I hope it's ok.. I won't be changing it for pretty long again.. =)
However, something made me change to this type.
It's due to the amount of space for the writing..
Actually I got the same person who did up Eugenia Lau's blogskin..
I found hers was very spacious.. and can't help but find myself feeling envious..
Oh well, I guess that's normal human reaction.
Once they want something, they will try to get it..

I learn something in 7th Heaven today..
'People look for something they want and not something they have'
The things that we have, we neglect and do not appreciate it..
Not only that, we want things that might not even be useful nor needed..
When we have so much things at hand, why do we need more things that is not necessary...?
Isn't that true?

After that, I watched the taped one.. Cause I wasn't at home in the morning..
Where was I?
I was with elle, wan ru, eleena, gwen, Eugenia lau and bary. <<<>Milks' a Milking.
7 Swans' a swimming.
6 geese a laying.
5 Golden Rings.
4 Calling birds.
3 French Hens.
2 Turtle doves.
and A partridge in a pear tree.

After that, we head to marina square to eat.. I ate this chicken grilled.. Lols.. Quite ok I guess..
Then, the rest ate like ramen.. Then, as usual, Eugenia didn't finish her rice.. lol..

Then, we went back.. Sent Ellis and Wan ru first..
Wan ru went down the same bus stop as her.. Cause she was heading towards toa payoh... Then, went we were turning out of potong pasir.. Eleena touched Wan ru's hp..
So, eugenia stopped at the bus stop and eleena waited at the bus stop to tell the bus driver to stop cause our friend inside and bla bla bla.. I then, went down to accompany her.. It was rainning that time.. However, we couldn't be bothered to take out an umbrella..

Unfortunately, I just realized that 142, the bus wan ru taking, was not going to pass that particular bus stop.. So, I started called ellis who was supposedly with her.. We ran to the previous bus stop in the rain..

Then, ellis said that she had already board the bus.. Me and eleena waited for the bus come to that particular bus stop..
then, the bus came and me and eleena sigh in relief.. Then we saw her on the bus and asked her to come down.. And she did.. We were like, go back to the that same exit lar..
She said it's ok.. Cause she got bus pass..
Then, we went back to the car that side which was 2 minutes walk.. Then, I called wan ru to reprimand her.. Hahas..

Fortunately, she said she very touched.. hahas.. But, as I said to eleena, this was the most exciting that happened to me today.. Hahas..

Then, I went towards home already.. When I reached home, hang around teh computer for a while..
Then, watched tv.. Jasmine called me and msg me.. I found it weird but couldn't be bothered..

After that, around 5 plus, she actually called me askign me to go down my house.. Then, I go out lor.. She was actually outside my house that side.. DIAOS>>
Then, they wanted to use toilet.. bla bla bla..
Then, we talked pretty long.. until 6. 30.. Jia xuan and yan ling actually dropped by also.. So, we talked pretty long.. yupps..

After that, at 7. 30, I watched my Da Chang Jin.. hahas. VEry nice.. =)
And LOrd Min got promoted.. And Lian Sheng got pregnant!!! Hahas.. ok, I know all this before.. But, its nice to watch again.. Hahas.. okok, I;m going le.. stink stink.. Hahas..

MERRY CHRISTMAS>>

Reality's Harsh

Harlow...
I guess life's hard..
Reality is harsh too..
They said we cried because of our friendship..
It's true..
But, it's so disheartening to see it that way..
Reality was never nice in the first place..

And here I am, in a tight position...
Not only that,
when I need someone to lean on..
I need that person to know my situation first..
Well, it's hard..
Sometimes, it's hard to explain in words..
Sometimes, I'm so tired of explaining..
However, when you want it to let out, you need to tell them everything...
Sometimes, I'm not even sure what I'm talking about..
Especially now. Lols..

Sometimes I don't need advice..
I just need a shoulder to lean on..
that's all I'm looking for....
I let out things a lot..
but that doesn't mean i need advice..
I'll only ask for it if i need it..

I'm desperate right now...
desperate for?
I do not know...
I don't feel like doing anything..
But, my everyday is filled with activities..

And i just realise something..
When i've got nothing better to do..
I'll think..
And that doesn't mean the good things..
It's true wad sx said.. Don't think.. cause if u do, it will only be bad..
negative thoughts it seems..

I'm not going to tell my parents.. I guess it wun be very nice for them to find out..
But, it's hard..
If they find out, I don't know what they will do..
Hais.. The pressure is on I guess..
But, bring it on.. We'll face it together..
We'll still be the famous 5, right?

Aries + Taurus

You Should Be An Aries

What's good about you: you're fearless about taking charge and grabbing the spotlight What's bad about you: if you're annoyed, you're not going to hide it! In love: you jump in quickly and don't mind risking your heart In friendship, you're: likely to have a new best friend each month Your ideal job: detective, butcher, or surgeon Your sense of fashion: ultra trendy and sexy You like to pig out on: appetizers, especially buffalo wings

What Sign Should You Be?

You are 73% Aries

How Aries Are You?

You are 73% Taurus

How Taurus Are You?

Contradicting huh? I'm both Aries and Taurus. It's because I'm in between.. =)

Your Birthdate: April 20

You may watch someone from afar before you finally decide to make your move. It takes a long time for you to develop an attraction to someone. Generally, you prefer to pick who you love. Anyone who tries to rush you is in for some heartache. Number of True Loves You'll Have: 4 Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 4 You are most compatible with people born on the 2nd, 11th, 20th, and 29th of the month.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean For Your Love Life?

Your Dosha is Pitta

You have a quick mind, a gift for persuasion, and a sharp sense of humor. You have both the drive and people skills to be a very successful leader. Argumentative and a bit stubborn, you have been known to be a little too set in your ways. But while you may be biased toward your own point of view, you are always honest, fair, and ethical. With friends: You are outgoing and open to anyone who might want to talk to you In love: You are picky but passionate To achieve more balance: Be less judgmental of those around you, and take cool walks in the moonlight.

What's Your Dosha?

Updated Events

Ok, I've been pretty busy. Can to hell with the update of EOY camp.. no one's updating.. why should I right?

Felicia's Birthday

Anyways, there's loads more of other stuff to share with you guys.. =) last monday, we went to Feli Lim house to celebrate her birthday. We had fun.. However, some people tried to act cool there.. Goodness, so irritating.. You know those games.. Like bang bang, or the dumb dumb game. Oh well, their pretty dumb and they gave up so easily. Well, not really. No one really bothered about me.. So leng!!!!!!!!

They were like, 'I catch no ball'. Goodness.. Probably your balls wasn't so potent. Lols. JK. Then, the rest go pang sei me.. Don't know go where. But, when they came back, I flew in their arms. Couldn't stand the atmosphere. They were my primary schoolmate as well. Irritating..Then, we started the fire and all.. So cool.. I learnt a few things on how to start fire le.. Hahas. I wasn't so hungry that day so, kept doing the food for them instead. Then, my face. yar, sauna.. Hahas. But, it was a good experience.. I think one of the bets things was murderer. =)

We played it and it turned out ok. Hahas. They tried to imitate W. So weird.. hahas. But, hilarious.. Definitely. Then, when I got the murderer, well, I learnt my lesson.. so, I kinda killed a lot.. hahas. Not easy to guess.. Hahas.. After that, cut the cake.. Took picture.. =) Went home.. walked myself.. =) eunice accompany me a while until at the park.. Then, go myself.. =) The rest was sent by eugenia..

MOVE ON!

Guides Chalet

Before we checked in, we went to school to get things from the guides dent... ILLEGAL!!! But, oh well.. No one is using it anyway.. We took a few stuff.. Then, I kinda forgot a few things from home.. Hahas.. Then, we went to Sheng Siong to buy all of the stuff. We got hotdogs.. Eugenia tan followed us so that she can choose what she want since she is a Vegetarian now. Well, truth to be told, her part of the food went overbudget.. Mushrooms, hotdog, prawn. Oh well, I still haven't sorted out the money..

We went back to my house. Eleena and I changed.. Then, took stuff from my house.. Then, I forgot another thing as well!!!!! Lols.. I can be very forgetful. So, we decided to ask the rest to bring instead... Then, we check in... Stayed a while.. Then, me eugenia lau and eleena went and fetch ellis and gwen..

moving on.. Then,I marinate the Chicken and stuff. Some peeps help me with the putting in sticks.. ELlis arhs.. you put the stick in the hotdog so nan kan.... Hahas.. go and practice.. After that, I did up things for Eugenia mushrooms. I thought she knew how to cook it!!!!!! But, unfortunately, she don't know how to!!!!!!!!!! AH!!!!!!!!! Panic panic.. Obviously not.. I put vegetarian oysters sauce for her with mushrooms cut... That was one.. Can't possibly everything do like that mahs!!! Then, the other one put chilli with oyster.. Some say the other one nicer.. Some say the other one nicer.. Lols..But, I'm pretty satisfied lar arhs..

Then, MOVING ON.. We went out to the beach to play play.. A while.. Then, kept writing on the sand.. took pictures and bla bla bla.. Then, Went back.. we barbecued marshmallow.. Hahas.. Then, stayed on until 11. 00.. Then, Eugenia lau send us home..

NEXT DAY, we came back at 5 am plus.. Well, in the morning.. I was hurt.. I came down in a hurry.. Everyone was in a hurry.. I didn't even comb my hair.. Eugenia's door was open. Then, she said hurry up to me. Well, why do I respect my elders so much? If I didn't have that restriction, I would have scream at her face. Well, I was angry hurt and depress. Well, I was mentally hurt.. Hais.. Kept quiet in the car.. Nothing to say... If I did, I don't know whether I'll flare up or sound sad.. Im so emotional.. Well, you can just summarise that my morning was spoilt.. Then, we went to escape.. Played played played..

Went into Haunted house.. Then, at first we were pretty alarmed by the darkness. Actually eleena and shu xian suppose to go in front first.. Followed by ellis and me.. But then, when we went inside, eleena and shu xian. back out to the middle. So, me and elle.. Then, well.. I didn't know what to do.. Panicking already..Then, moved forward.. move until 1 quarter of the journey.. Then, there was this black cloth, uncut.. Me and ellis. Well, we didn't know what was anticipating there.. So, we didn't dare.. So, we stopped.. Freaking out.. Then, wan ru took over me.. So, I was now in the middle.. Actually, eugenia lau wanted to go out le.. But then, everyone wanted to continue... We didn't want to chicken out and let everyone see.. So, she followed us.. With the guy behind us.. We actually sang all the way!!!!!!!!! Hahas.. all guides song.. At the top of our lungs.. Hahas..

Came out.. What a relief!!! hahas.. The guy behind us who was the worker was laughing at us.. HAHAs.. Kinda funny if you think about it.. Then,we played stuff..

Went to viking.. I went up 3 times.. hahas.. Still kinda ok.. can still walk and live.. Shu xian who ride 2 times, vomitted.. Lols.. But, fuN!!!!!!!!!! Rainbow was fun too.. saw changi air port.. Then, we didn't play go-kart and 360 degrees.. 360 wasn't available.. So, kinda sad.. go kart wasn't so short queue.. Hahas..

Then, we went to play wild wild wet.. played like 2 times i tink.. goodness.. I was at the back both times.. and well.. it didn't turn out well.. wet than anyone else.. Then, I Actually wanted to cycle after that.. But, my body didn't allow.. So, did the rest.. So, we ate our lunch and went home..

Actually I preferred to go home with wan ru and ellis.. BUT, eugenia lau was sending tan so, might as well go right... So near.. diaos.. Hais.. So much for my good intention..

Then, went back and slp.. hahas.. so nice.. su fu!!!

Flag Day for Bright_vision_hospital

Yes, I participated in it with the bright ugly yellow t shirt.. hahs.. it was on saturday... started out in the morning.. at 8 am.. as usual.. me, late.. eleena later.. gwendaline.. latest!!! She came at 9 like dat.. she forgot.. thats why.. LOLS.. she slept since 5 yesterday lar!!! Oh well. Then, move on.. briefing.. bla bla bla bla.. ppl from ngee ann poly joined us.. so, there was the staff, ngee ann, bowen and public ppl.. Quite a lot lar arhs.. my group was allocated to toa payoh.. Moved on.. I was with gwendaline. And my area had Louis with us.. Then, the shopping mall that side got Joseph, cherilyn and charmaine.. quite fun.. Then, we went around ask ask ask... Hais..

We can see the different side of people from here.. Let me tell you. The couple MIGHT donate.. some might not.. The ones with the babies and children, will.. except for the very sophisticated ones.. Then, couples.. the rich couples.. don't ever approach.. you know why? So snobbish!!!!! AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can't stand them.. Then, this kind hearted man.. He was my first 2 dollars.. He opened a shop there you know the row of shops opposite ya kun.. there.. He works at the ginseng shop.. =) Then, he asked me what it was about and all. Explain liao. Then, he gave me 2 bucks.. =) so nice..

Got a few more gave 2 bucks.. Then, there was this woman.. She had cancer.. Her head was bald I saw it behind the hat.. Then, she asked me what it was about.. She gave me 5 bucks... woah.. So nice.. Probably.. she understands better.. =) Then, got a few more gave 2 bucks..

There were rejections.. The people in that area were weird.. I moved around like some idiot.. and people were rejecting me.. when I asked someone in a crowd, you can see the crowd disperse as if I have a disease.. HOW depressing!!! Singaporeans.. I tell you, if someone ask me to donate, I will if I have money with me.. argh.. stupid barbarians.

Then, went back at 3 plus.. Talked with elle in mac for a few minutes.. like 1 hour.. Then, there was this boy lost.. char, cher, joseph and louis told us.. and we went and search for the boy with a tigger shirt.. hais.. found.. He was autistic so, he had difficulties communicating..

I went back at 5 like that.. Then, had dinner..

My mommy birthday that day.. She treat the entire family.. We ate yam basket, fish bla bla bla.. it was hundred plus in total.. ok lar. normal..

Bowen Drama club

yes, it was on a sunday.. it was a performance for the seniors and all at NAFA.. Their performance was nice.. I thought the best was the sec 4s performance and witches' puppet.. THe one wirh manges, ju, shikin, amanda, this unknown girl and ruben.. That two performance was my liking..

Well, you can really see the difference of the juniors. How they acted and how the seniors are.. there was a level higher of competency every age difference.. The seniors was really seniors.. as they had more experienced compared to the juniors.. =) Very well done.. The seniors cried when the juniors put up a little something.. LOLS. Eleena, touched.. cried a little. LOLS.

Then, we went back to bugis mac. Talked about things.. Well, to me, the J are boot licking.. lols.. after that.. we headed to the hospital.. went and see eugenia lau wish child.. The entire ward was actually cancer patients.. Hais.. The situation was overwhelming.. Eleena cried when she say this baby. She/He was only 1 and halve year old.. =( She/He was crying non stop.. hais.. so sad..

Then, eugenia sent us back le.. =)

I'll tell u about the wild wild wet another day..

Personality Stuff?

I saw this at yikloong's blog and thought I should tried it out.. hahas.. =)

You Are 58% Angry

Generally, you are not an angry person. But you're easily frustrated and enraged. You have one heck of a temper. And because of your anger, you tend to feel resentful and even spiteful. You already know how to quell your anger. You just need to do it more often.

How Angry Are You?

You Are 5: The Investigator

You're independent - and a logical analytical thinker. You love learning and ideas... and know things no one else does. Bored by small talk, you refuse to participate in boring conversations. You are open minded. A visionary. You understand the world and may change it.

What Number Are You?

Your Brain is 67% Female, 33% Male

Your brain leans female You think with your heart, not your head Sweet and considerate, you are a giver But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

What Gender Is Your Brain?

What Your Sleeping Position Says

You are calm and rational. You are also giving and kind - a great friend. You are easy going and trusting. However, you are too sensible to fall for mind games.

What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About You?

You Belong in Fall

Intelligent, introspective, and quite expressive at times... You appreciate the changes in color, climate, and mood that fall brings Whether you're carving wacky pumpkins or taking long drives, autumn is a favorite time of year for you

What Season Are You?

You Are Death

You symbolize the end, which can be frightening. But you also symbolize the immortality of the soul. You represent transformation, rebirth of a new life. Sweeping away the past is part of this card, as painful as it may be. Your fortune: Don't worry, this card does not predict death itself. Instead it foreshadows the ending of an era of your life, one that is hard to let go of. But with the future great new things will come, and it's time to embrace them. Mourn for a while, but then face the future with humility and courage.

What Tarot Card Are You?

You Are Cookie Monster

Misunderstood as a primal monster, you're a true hedonist with a huge sweet tooth. You are usually feeling: Hungry. Cookies are preferred, but you'll eat anything if cookies aren't around. You are famous for: Your slightly crazy eyes and usual way of speaking How you life your life: In the moment. "Me want COOKIE!"

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

People Envy Your Compassion

You have a kind heart and an unusual empathy for all living creatures. You tend to absorb others' happiness and pain. People envy your compassion, and more importantly, the connections it helps you build. And compassionate as you are, you feel for them.

What Do People Envy About You?

Slow and Steady

Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment. They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it.

How Do People See You?

Your Scholastic Strength Is Evaluating

You are great at looking at many details and putting them all together. You are talented at detecting subtle trends, accuracy, and managing change. You should major in: Statistics Speech Conflict studies Communication Finance Medicine

What Should You Major In?

You Are 42% Perfectionist

No one would call you a perfectionist, but you definitely have a side of you that strives to be perfect. Try to see your mistakes as learning experiences, and don't be so hard on yourself when you screw up!

Are You a Perfectionist?

Your Deadly Sins

Envy: 80%

Greed: 60%

Sloth: 60%

Wrath: 60%

Gluttony: 40%

Pride: 40%

Lust: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 49%

You will die at the hands of a jealous lover. How ironic.

How Sinful Are You?

EOY Camp

Harlow. I'm here to tell you guys all about the EOY camp

that all of us had attended.
I do have to realize that the attendance
wasn't that encouraging at first.
In fact, all of us wasn't happy.
The teachers as well.
However, the show has to go on.
There's no point brooding over all these..

Ok, first day, we had games and more games to keep people going.
We did introduction with Miss Chua start the all rolling.
She asked us what did we want to achieved out of coming to this camp.
Of course all us said our piece.
Then, we moved on to Manito.
We decorated our envelopes and told everyone what it said about us.
Then, after that, we had Patrol identity did decorated T-Shirts.

The GiFteDs

Click
























7-Eleven

Unfortunately, this particular activity was the one that drag everything down.
We were late for loads of activities and
some was canceled due to this one.
Punctuality was very important to me. But,
speak for myself. Hahas.
Too bad.
Oh well, we were suppose to play H2O but, canceled.
Then, we moved on to captain's ball.
Played quite long. Very tiring.
Sheena joined us for the game and she blocks very well because she's tall.
Then, when I started the ball wizard was always there.
And she kept telling me stuff which I probably didn't want to hear.
What do you think?
I had to concentrate on the game.
Michelle was fast blocking. She moved around the court a lot.
What do we expect. She was a Net Ball player.
Then, we had elevenses.

We played Key Punch.
With the mats from India. My group had a strategy up our sleeve.
We played and won first.
1. Gifted.
2. 7-Eleven
3. Click

We moved on to blind square. It was tough.
But, I guess communication was important.
It might be hard for the others who had the threeos with them.
Because communication can break down.
1. Click
2. Gifted
3. 7-Eleven

We then had lunch. Most of them couldn't finish.
And, it was CURRY! hahas.
We teased Ellis and Gwen and about it.

Gadgets was next in line.
I didn't take the pictures but it was pretty nice..
hahas. We did shoe rack and clothesline.

I'll continue after my com comes back... =(