- The happiest is the person who suffers the least pain; the most miserable who enjoys the least pleasure. -

I was actually looking through the web and I saw this. I was feeling devastated today. Just do not feel like talking about it. You know sometimes when you feel sad, you just don't feel like being comforted. It's the same for me today. I just want to feel sad. Sometimes, it's good to for my mind. There's got to be a balance isn't it?

I remember there's this story I read when I was in primary school. Another man asked the man, 'why are you so happy everyday?' and the man replied, 'I look in the mirror everyday and ask, ' do I want to be happy or sad today? ' ' and he answered he wanted to be happy. Therefore, he's happy everyday.

You are the one that make the choice of being happy or sad everyday. Not anyone else. Even though something might upset you, you have a choice whether or not to be fazed by it or not. I choose not to be upset because of what I saw and read. Therefore, I will not be.

It's time to let go.. I'm not talking about guides. LOLs. It's time I don't feel pain for these type of things. The cut is getting deeper everytime and salt just kept rubbing on my wound.

CCA Open house and CME

Before I go into the CCA open house, i would like to update about yesterday..

It was mainly because of CME. CME was pretty funny. Can't believe? Hahas.. The lesson was about yourself and what are your strength. Paula was sitting diagonally opposite me with hak bun beside me.. NO!!! I must say about the other thing first.. We had to tell our partner what we thought about them..

But, I didn't know why FARMER hak bun told me about himself. He said he sang better than Jay CHou!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!! Idiot.. I beat him straight away.. But I had to say something else.. Then, I said I sang better than him.. I was hoping he didn't spot my mistake. Because that meant I sang better than Jay as well.. SHIT. Lols. but he was smart enough.. I was pretty stuck.. But, we just laugh it off..

Then, there were questions you're suppose to answer. It was what are your strength, how do you improve your strength and what do you do to use your strength? Paul said I(him) like to tell jokes. how to improve? read joke books. use your strength? Tell more jokes and make people laugh. LOLs. At that particular point of time, it was very hilarious..

Anyways, CCA open house was ok. I wasn't so happy about how the weather turns out. But hey, I guess we did finish our gateway.. However, we did have to tear it down on the day itself.. Well, dats all.. Nothing much I could bother myself with..

Well, I could say I've obtained or rather, learned one skill and that is the immune to results be it good or bad. That means, I wouldn't be so affected and be carefree about it. Well, my beloved Juniors, let this post tell you that none of the your seniors are always very happy. We do have problems. It's just that we don't express it out too much and perhaps we can handle it. But, remember, we are not always very happy.

Today it shall be my first devastating post. I saw it coming I suppose. My mom took partial of my freedom already. I would have to report to her whatever I do every single day. She has my schedule down already. So, she expects me to be home at 4 every single day when I do not have anything at all. However, if I do have anything, I would have to call her to inform her. Well, that definitely will cover my part of the phone bill.

Even if it was last minute meeting, I would still have to inform her. About the CCA open house preparation, she wants me to call her tomorrow even though I've already told her today. I told her that I wouldn't be free the entire week. She said, then call me everyday. I guess that's where I got my partial genes from.

Well, my load for these days has increased as my friends are going to the Sec 1 camp. Enjoy yourself there. Do not regret going. You guys have already made a choice in going, make the best out of it.

These few days I've not been able to sustain my energy until 3. After that, well, let's just say my happy mode is switched off. Is that a warning? Yes, it is.

Man, I'm not surprise if she comes down to school and make havoc this year. Unbelievable? No, I wouldn't say so. Because she did it before.

Let me just say this, no one has called me an idiot for a very long time. Well, no one dares to. They will only ended up getting beatings from me. That's all. Irritating if you think about it. Those who know my habits are the ones that suffer the most. They think its painful but me here don't think it's very painful.

However, I do have a technique. If you do want to learn, feel free to approach me after I leave. Hahas. You know why, I wouldn't want my tradition to die out. Anyways, today, I went into the lecture theater three times. The first one was for Malay Lesson.

When I stepped inside the place, I was pretty shock. Ok, what do you expect Haniza? It was the previous library. And your school library wasn't that big either. Yes, the lecture theater was surprisingly small. But, we do need to be grateful because we are the ones benefiting from it. After that was my Physics lessons. Mr Tan is my Idol!!! Hahas. He chao sia today again. Hahas. So funny. As usual, he said something like 'those who laugh arh, your exam marks arhs.' Which meant like a threat. But, it was very farny!!! Hahas..

Then, his lessons was great. We finished Reflection and a bit of refraction. But, there's only 2 more pages of the lecture notes. He's my Idol!! Hahas.. But, we are still way behind. Sad. He gave us homework. =) Which is not really a happy thing. But, I suppose I must do. Like DUH.

Anyways, today guides was tiring. I had very little energy. Why? I don't know. Probably because I didn't eat any rice but only bread today.. Hahas. No, I'm not dieting. Just don't feel like getting something so filling. But, I ate two burgers. Two bread. 4 siu mai. The entire day. Isn't that massive. Yupps.. hahahs..

Oh well, then we got our stairs done... =) NPCC is doing the gateway this year.. Well, I head its big. Good luck people. It will take up too much time. That's why we don't dare to build so big. We're not very free you know.. But, they do have man power. Can't be blamed.

=)

Ok, I know it's pretty late since I had guides today. But, just couldn't help but post about it. Not guides but about my first day in school in year 2007.

My first lesson was with Mr Tan. As usual, I adore him to the core. He's such a nice teacher. His lessons was 2 periods. He took up half of the time telling us about what the rough sketch of what's going to happen this year. He is going to finish everything by May. He needs to do at least 15 papers with us before we sit for our prelims.

I guess that was pretty ok I guess. Then, he mentioned that probably few pf us might be involve in performance art and he understands that the school knows that both the SYF and studies is important. Then, he say must have discipline. He say when we come back from training, if tired, cannot sleep! Must complete all homework first then can sleep. This is where the mental discipline comes from.

Then he mentioned quite a few things that made us laugh. LOLs. So nice.. Then, we moved on to reflection. And people, please applaud, this coming lecture would be by Mr. Tan about Reflection. *clap* *clap* So, people from the other class watch out for my teacher!!!!

Then, went to Miss Suan's class. We had english lessons. She was as usual, very interesting, very fun. However, I didn't bring my exercise book. So, we had an extra Journal entry that is entitled: How my Cat/Dog ate my book. Something like that. Thank god it was only one page. So people, we can just bull shit. Hahas. Thanks what she said. See, she made my day as well. No, actually she continue to liven up my lovely day. =)

Ok, moving on. The rest of the subjects was neutral. It's because Mr. Tan made my day!!! Hahahahas. He must be glad that people like me *crazy* are inspired by him. Eh, even eleena said he's nice.. =) But, he can't possibly have clashes with other teachers. So, likely when other students from other classes approach him, he will still give help, but it's not a nice sight. He still helps but he won't like request to teach other classes just because you're not happy with you teacher. Sad, but you can go and see him. =) So nice.. Hahas..

Ok, i went one whole round and its still talking about him.. Hahas. Then, I had guides. Today was the most number of times we went down. Like massive loads of times. Especially with the attire.

I remembered what yik loong said. Senior mahs, so can report late. Hahas. Pretty funny if you think about it. I guess the system changes now. Last time is teacher come to classroom, so, as students we wait. Now, we have the homeroom system. Now, it's the teacher that has to be there at all times when the juniors or students come. See the difference.. Huh..

However, by doing this, this is giving the people more face as these people stroll in to class and gets affected by certain things on the way like going to the toilet of talking with their friends. This in turn affects the time that can be used to teach a small portion of a chapter that can mean a lot to the entire year. Mr Tan said we're 1 term behind for physics. Probably 1/5 of the time was taken up by us strolling in to class and going to toilet at any point of time. So, is the system really beneficial?

However, the system does have its advantages. Things such as giving the students a breather as they walk in order to take mini breaks in the midst of all the rushing school activities. Thats the only advantage I can think of. Yes, I'm not the supporter of it.. Hahas.. =) People. You owe me assignments.. Please them up.. And I owe teachers assignments as well. Hahas.

I'm finally done with my guides stuff. Yes, there was more than those that I've done during the afternoon. Just now, me and ellis had to fill in the PNA form. So sian.. But, what to do.. It's our job after all. I'm going to sleeping soon. Tomorrow, I'm going to school but I'm only feeling slightly better. My voice is still not up to par. But, what can I do?

And I misplaced my guides t shirt. LOLs. Too bad. Then, I asked ellis for my t shirt. But, she can't find her other t shirt. Then, she's going to borrow from Eugenia lau.. =) Thank god..

I'm so tired already. I think I will turn in. This is the second time when I'm actually trying my best to fight the medicine. It's making me very weak and I will tremble slightly. They are making me sleep. But, now I'm sleepy. Not very. Because the peak of it ended.. I guess. RANDOM. Hahas..

Nights people.

I just did some guides things for the juniors. Did the write up for CCA open house and did the write up for miss suan.. I'm very tired now.. Because I'm suppose to sleep but I force myself to do these things before I sleep. LOLs. Because I scared later there wouldn't be sufficient time. But, I think I'm going to sleep after this. The medicine is very strong. Hais..

I just got phlegm that's green colour and flu mucus greenish yellow. EEWWWW. Hahas.. But, I'm feeling slightly better compared to the shortage of breath and all. Took MC today... =) LOLs. 2nd day of school and mc liaos.. Terrible.. But can't help it. I misplaced my time table. Now need to photocopy again.. Lols. I know my teachers already.. They're Mrs Ng. Lols. Didn't expect it to be her.. But, it's ok I guess.

My neighbour is actually a bowenian as well. They just moved in, remember? The one that makes massive amount of noise. Well, I never seen them before.. But, I shall see whether I'll see her when I go out of my house in the morning.. Ok, I need to prepare some things for guides tomorrow. =) BUAISZZ... Hahas.. bb'.

Harlow.. =) Great news!!!
Today I've received my poster from illustrious.. Hahas.. =)



That's my poster.. =) For my story.. It pretty great. The artist was grey shadow.. Initially I wanted Lorena to do it.. But, too bad.. Hahas.. Can't really choose who I want. Then, next one is I'm getting the EP for Curse of the golden flower.. Under Jay.. LOLs> That's because inside got all the MVs. So must get.. =)



Heir heir heir.. =) I went to the library the other day.. I only read 1 book finish.. LOLs> I'm going to miss you Eugenia Lau!!! When you go to US.. =( SO random of me..

I watched the movie already.. Well, I've got to say that Jay Chou's acting has improve tremendously.. please applause.. *applause*. Thank you.. Then, the movie has great colours and very unique costumes. The movie is gory.. So it seem. It has loads of killing. And the ending was somewhat hanging. =) But, nonetheless. It was worth it.. Hahas.. In the end he killed himself!!! Hais.. So sad..

In the end the empress has no son.. The first one to die was the eldest, then the youngest. Then, Jay Chou.. After he died, then the story ended.. And please applaud for the great theme song. 'Ju hua Tai'. Nice, soothing song. =)

And I have to admit, I'm not feeling so well right now. Therefore, when I get my sore throat, cough and flu. I'm always getting ready for something bigger. Yes, my sore throat went to cough and flu. Now, I can't breathe properly.. Hais.. Sad life.. Ellis ask me to drink more water.. Thank you darling.. I've had enough water..

Hey, have u guys had a cough or sore throat so bad that if you guys had water that is not warm, you'll guys cough or vomit.. ?? My mom always had that.. Today me and her were not feeling well. So sad.. So, to you people out there. Take care of your health. And it amaze me how many flu viruses there are.. Cause everytime you got a flu. Its a new virus.. Can you count how many flu you've had since you were a child. LOLs> See ya, me now trying to write my another chapter..

Hey!
Lets talk about the past events that had happen..

Beginning of the year it started out from Debate for me..
The malay..
We won in the end.. =)

Then, we did our flag etiquette.
We started practice around February..
I did the flag practice for 3 times.. Cock up a few times..
See, no one's perfect..
Did student initiated thing..
I read back my post,
I said that I was familiar with the procedure because
I helped them out previously..
When I hadn't join Guides yet..

And we helped sec 2s in marching?
Didn't remember..
Knew Krit ard there as well.. Hahas..
I said he was a nice guy.. Hahas.. So weird..

Ok, then next post, I was sad about my life..
See how ungrateful I was!!!
Hahas.. I said I need to do laundry last time..
Now, I'm still reluctant..
But, some children don't even have enough clothes to wash!
And that post, I was slightly angry with my parents...

Next post around 15 feb..
Failed my test.. I tink it's e maths..
I mention the last part of my post, that I hope it won't be a trend as it goes down the year..
I guess it did slightly..
I complained about HW a lot.. Hahas..
I was talking about an organizer.. Said I wasn't organized.. Now's better I guess..

Thn, next post after I came back from camp, it was 25.2.06..
I mention about mount panti being an achievement for me..
I guess it wasn't my only achievement now..
Then, abt my instructor calling me the mother.. Hahas..
2nd fav camp.. =)

Next post, march... 3/10 to be exact..
I mention about the audition.. Which one? The chinese competition?
I don't remember..
Then, it was a sad post.. =( But, I said I felt like killing myself.. LOLS>
At that point of time, I seem to be very involve in guides already..
I mention that I was busy there..

I remember what audition already.. It wasn't the chinese one.. My next post explains it..
It was the SYF selection.. Hahas..
I said there was a selection.. Busy week.. 3/17
So accurate..
I was not confident at the 2nd selection.. But, oh boy, we were definitely better than them now..
I mention that I would go out.. LOLS.
I also was in a bad picture with Sophia that time..
That day was when we sorted out our problems..
Hahas.. So childish..
And not to be mention, the SP practice for the campfire..

The next post was about the SP campfire.
I talked about us making a name by winning the best performance..
Well, Now it's no big thing..
I even mention that SP would help us with the gateway..
My foot.. Hahas.. In the end they didn't really.. Except for clement.. If I'm not wrong..

The next one was 2 days before my birthday..
And Ellis and Gwen was at odds with each other..
And I was sad the fact that I didn't bother about my birthday..
Because I was too tired..

Then, the day of the central judging for Bowen..
I got scolded LOADS of times..
First was by LION because I made an announcement..
And who asked me to say the announcement???
That bitch of course..
Then, James scolded me also when I took care of her class..

Next post was 27/4..
It was another sad post..
My parents threaten to go down to school..
The first time..
Just because of the walkaton card...
All these memories wasn't so nice..

The next post wasn't so encouraging either..
It was about my results..
Not much details..
But, also about the campfire.. And it being very tedious..
Number of words for that post: 1, 123..

Next post was another sad one..
Abt my results in details..
Then, about me being better than sister, supposedly.

The next one is already in may.. Wasn't so devastating..
It was not so lively nor sad..
Now, My post got more monotonous..
It was about SYF contingent in the academy..

The next post was me talking about ellis..
I was pissed at her at that time..
I didn't know who I was talking about until I read on..
Why I was pissed at her?
Because she was not sensitive about what I cannot eat..
She said why I everything also cannot eat..
Yupps, more I think about it, the more angry it gets.. Lols..
And I had a bad cold, cough, sore throat and asthma was back.. Obviously my mood was bad..

Ok, my next post was still angry..
Still about elle..
I think ellis read my post at that point of time..
I'm surprise how my post sounded so matured.. Hahas..
Then, I was talking abt her supposedly shouldn't change just for the sake of others..

Moving on..
And me was still sick..
Next post was around end of may..
I talked about me watching xing nian shi ba shui..=)

Next post, I was still sick..
It was about me, gwen, elle and shu xian.. Who got stuck in the dent..
Hahas.. Because Eugenia tan and jennifer lock us in...
It was a very memorable experience.. Pity Wan ru went home earlier..

Then, next post was about Sg idol..
Then, me taking the BB spars..
One male. one female..
At first..
then, one more male came along.. hahas..

Then, it was about my PLTC camp..
I said that it was worth it perhaps..
SO, the question is, was it really.
The answer is yes, about all the stuff we learn there.
It was brought back to us..
All the theories to the practical of the campfire..
It was all learnt..
I really appreciated the fact that me and ellis was sent there..
Then, I complained that some people there were arrogant..
Perhaps..

Next post was sad..
It was me being sick of everything..

Next post, I didn't even touch on june campfire..
hahas.. talked about wad happen in school after that..
And that meant all the work needed to be completed..
then about michael scolding us.. LOLS.

Next post was me not going to walkaton.. =( so sad..
I didn't go due to stomach pain..
Hahas..

Ok, the nxt post i talked in malay.. Hahas..

next post was about mr tan.. hahas.. again
then, i said about racial harmony day..

Next one was us going out together watching lake house..

Next one was still about mr tan. hahas..
It's about me asking the question and he recorded down the tine..
hahas.. So hilarious,,

Ok. next few post.. I cant be bother go in details.. But, in conclusion, I could only say that in e beginning part of the year, I was feeling devastated all the time.. But now, I'm beginning to feel immune to things.. I always let my feelings show in the beginning.. Then, as time goes by, I think I went immune to things and didn't care much about things around me.. Thats when I grew ignorant about stuff.. However, I guess it has its advantages right now..I pick and choose stuff I want to hear.. Things that I would want to forget might be forgotten..

I have a more positive and grateful posts at the later part of the year which meant I was more grateful of life.. I guess that was because I started to do volunteering work and saw the other side of life that i should be grateful that I had and others who are not so fortunate doesn't get to obtain that easily.. So to say, I grown more matured over the months and it has perhaps benefited me in some way..

I'm just glad to say that 2006 was a great year for me.. There had been loads of downs.. But, at the end of it all, it was all worth it.. We all might be thinking all the time that we had been striving very hard.. But hey, look where we are now darlings..

It was all worth it at the end of the rocky ride.. I've known people through this year.. And deepen my understanding a bout others. =) And on the eve of new year even saw some one old nt new. and he's going to hell.. Trust me.. Hahas.. Nights people..