Harlow people. I would have been able to update faster if my sister wasn't using my computer. However, I forgot that I can just use her laptop for all I care. I think I used a lot more times that her already. LOLs.

Anyways, about today. Or rather, yesterday. It was the class discussion about the class t shirt. The people that was in front was cai xin, celest and me. Unfortunately, you can see clearly that was class was not cooperating with us. They are exactly like my juniors. Are I am saying that they're not growing up. Yes, they're not. Some people in my class just have to form of respect for the person in front of them talking.

They just continue talking as if they are somehow in their own world. Celest and Cai Xin somehow couldn't be bothered. Cai Xin walked out of the class. Being as nice as I was, HAHAS, I didn't seem pissed. Hahas. Perhaps I was just too use to what these type of people always do. I just didn't wish to interrupt the entire fun. I have problems expressing the right emotions at the right time. It was nice to see that some people realise how the teacher have to stand there, to handle this type of class and to get their attention. Imagine, if you to stand in your teacher's shoes, how long can you last.

I can easily say this because I know how to feels like to do so. To shout for attention and to end up with no one listening to you. I always have to shout at my girls if they were to not have a sense of urgency or for any other matter. That was one part of the day. I just told my friends, 'I'm very nice one.' hahas. So fun.. But, I did shout at one point. I didn't like the feeling. Because if I shout, it's like shouting at my juniors. It's like insulting my classmates that cannot behave when they have come to same age as me and they still cannot control their mouths. I don't like the feeling. If I was shouting at my juniors, we wouldn't mind because we are more superior. But, in this case, I don't want to feel superior compared to my friends because they are of the same standard and platform as i am.

Some leaders in my class might experience this type of things when handling their cca. But, I dare to say that only a few requires for them to shout in order to get attention. Why? Because they do not see the need. Nvm.

That one only one part of the day that I went through. The other part of the day was when we went for the rehearsal for councilor investiture. I was so sad about something. It wasn't the council head thing but about the analogics thing.

The department that I was is called Analogics. It handles the gates and late coming. Previously, in the year 2004, the department was still called 'Late coming', However, at the end of the year 2004 towards 2005, it was then called Analogics. At that point of time, the job scope was gate, late coming, tie and detention class. Yes, it played a big part in the board. However, at the end of the year, in 2006, the job scope was minimized. It was to be said that Analogics had handled too much stuff and it was to be cut down and gave to another department. So, the new job scope was only gates and late coming.

During the meeting, mrf. said there was one department called the 'anal-logics' and he asked what it does and was answered by gates. And he once again pronounced it as 'anal-logics'. Then everyone laughed because they think that what he said was funny or something like that. I looked around and saw najib, kumaran, shakil. Laughing. Yes, if any of the classmate see this, by all means, tell them Because, I can't be bothered if I hurt their feelings. Because, they just did the same thing to me.

I nearly broke down inside the lt. But, I kept it down. I didn't know what to say. I was amazed at the response I was getting. I understand that if the rest were to laugh, it's ok. But, I didn't expect them to laugh. You're asking if I'm disappointed? No, honestly. I'm utterly disappointed and angry at them. If I can do it, I shall put their necks in the crooks of my hands.

Such shame I felt and yet, no one to back me up. I didn't know what to say. Hais. I was trained by Nadia. What was it you asked? It was to work with mrsd. It was to update the notice board, do the hod late coming duty list, patroling duty and many more. But, soon, we had a choice to choose which department we wanted to go to. Everyone in my class went to student liaison, t n o. However, I was the only one to choose Analogics. Why? Because I started out at gate. Gate out. They decided to respect my decision even though some people were sad. Nadia, she had hoped I go to her department but I had to choose. Therefore, I chose the road my sister went.

Somehow, I was trained under pb after some time and I did a lot of work regarding everything in the department. At that time, dc was still under us. I sacrifice a lot of my time for it. I really did. Then, it was selection for the new exco. I was nominated but I was voted out. Sad I would say. But, hey, it's my fault. Then. second time round, still nominated, but, out again. Because I was just unchoosen. Then, now, they're collapsing the system. I doubt there will be any more Analogics.

Yes, I'm upset and sad about this. But, I tell myself, I must stay strong. My journey through prefect, council was hard and tedious. Just like guides. I had setbacks. But, yes, council/prefect still live in my heart. But, now, even though there's still a fire, I don't know how long before the oxygen run out.

I saw pb today. I don't know how to tell him. How I let him down.

Anyways, I just want to tell the people of council management, you will not even be existing if it weren't for Analogics. Remember that. So, don't try to step over my head nor anyone before me. After me, you can step all you want. You know why? Cause after that, everything is going to FALL. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.